On a mission....

On a mission to find myself again; I have time. :)
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Don’t try so hard to study people through magazines or news articles, you might just meet them one day.

Then again, if I did that with Greg I would’ve known that he was working across the street from me when I was managing a protocol—fail; it’s not like I couldn’t have IM’d him when I got the job or even while I was working. Oh well.

OMG, mom thought what I do doesn’t require much reading to start. This is where ebooks can be quite deceiving if you’re a non tech onlooker.

I’ve had to stop my reads because of people thinking I can take a break any time and just get back to it as if I were reading a novel. Not! They need to learn that some of the stuff I go through has to be soaked in before pausing.

There are interruptions and no Internet for me to at least SSH and practice what I’m mentally swallowing. Ugh.

Maybe I could get away with memorizing everything to practice when I get out of here? But the constant pestering that I’m not more social with patients or even staff who are quite vocal about how they dislike people in my industry doesn’t help.

Okay, staff always assuming I’m gaming is ticking me off. Alright, I did date an editor of a gaming mag. I am a gamer, but when I’m sick or working/researching the gaming me goes into hiding. (Seriously, I put down a Blizzard game.)

I am a science geek who was a couple classes short of an associates degree back in HS. I didn’t focus on it because I was still figuring out and convincing fam what I wanted to do—computer science, biochem, math, psych, or law; an AA in English is gonna need to win after all these years.

The beauty contest bit was a nice break that brought me back to my initial choices of math, biochem, or CS for a BS. Then the telecommunications and net security were just hobbies that ended up getting me noticed and in the industry.

To those who think I starve myself,

Y’all be. trippin’. I say that with the utmost love. I eat like no tomorrow when it’s not hospital food.

Then I’m all up in the gym when they’re not tapping my spine. Serious.

Oh my, I was pulled into a conversation with some hippie tech haters. They were cool with me ‘til they realized I work with their version of ‘the man.’ Whatever, I shooed them away with a peek at some Cisco docs I was reviewing. 8p

Someone just called me a cougar. That’s good, right?

I’m about to start my morning with a devotional read and I thought I’d wake myself up with a little music; that’s when this came on: All Day - Hillsong United: http://youtu.be/7d7QBl-yjn0. This reminds me of how the balancing of humility comes in tricky. I grew up in a Catholic School where the lesson in humility stuck. Now, the sticking to that lesson doesn’t work in high school applications. I wouldn’t bend and everything began falling in my lap in public school. I didn’t play on the tennis or volleyball teams because I didn’t want the attention. It wouldn’t matter, Stanford flagged my game and test scores in grade school. Now that I’m older, it’s still tricky in the corporate world—especially when hanging out with execs who would gladly fiscally help with my nonprofit—I just don’t flaunt how I’m connected to ambassadors, celebrities, or huge nonprofit organizations overseas. Heh, one of the CEOs understood. Now I just need to get better so I can pick up the plans to present to him one day. I will need to maintain my contacts in that circle. Tricky to do from in the hospital. Depending on how all my tests turn out, I might have to package the humanitarian business plan for presentation to that one CEO. Trust me, he’s got the resources to get it rolling—the plan can be infectious internationally; it’s all for the children too. Not many places can resent that.