holdthepancakes asked: Where to begin? I feel like in order for me to stop liking one guy, I have to like a different guy. Weird right? I keep praying for things to be different because I feel like I’ll never know if my feelings are real or not, but nothing’s really changed. I don’t know…
Source: wreckedsolitaryhere
Lord, I know you love me the same if I succeed or if I fail, but I feel so much pressure to perform in so many areas of my life, that I find myself trying to “perform” for you. And here’s the thing, that’s got to stop. First, because I’m just not that good at being a Christian. I’m good at pretending to be a good Christian, but I can’t really pretend with you, now can I? And secondly, when I feel like I’m “under-performing” with you, then I feel like I can’t face you.
And I can’t have that.
I simply can’t live without you. I need to be with you. Besides, how can I become a better Christian if don’t get it from you? I know in my heart that you don’t need me to do or accomplish anything for you to love me. You don’t love me because of who I am, you love me because of who you are. And yet I constantly feel like I’m letting you down.
Take those stupid feelings from me. Heck, if you’ll love me as I am, why can’t I just accept it? Sure it’s better than what I deserve, but so what? If you’re not complaining, I’m not complaining. I’ve hit the jackpot here. I’ve got all the love and protection and provision I’ll ever need. So Lord, help me to just be still and receive it.
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On a mission to find myself again; I have time. :)